How to Be Successful… & Other Magic Tricks
We’ve all seen those commercials…
“Become successful OVERNIGHT with THESE 3 TIPS!”
And we all secretly know that they’re a gimmick, yet we sometimes click on them regardless because maybe THIS one will be real. Obtaining success exists within every part of human nature and culture throughout the world. What it looks like differs from person-to-person, but the core idea is the same - to optimize our time and gain something from our endeavors. If you live in a Western-centered country (in philosophy and thought), this is reminiscent of capitalism and maximizing an individual’s gain. The value of the individual or figurehead is seen as better than or takes precedent over the other members within a company or community. In Eastern-centered countries, it’s more collectivistic and values err to how the family can succeed - not just the individual.
As one who’s been raised in a less-than-perfect U.S. economy, I know the failings of capitalism. I know that it centers on who can win the rat race whilst also glorifying that person’s plight to the top as they seemingly “overcome the odds.” This is indicative of a lot of problems that exist within America and our ideas of success. It’s the idea that being at the top is what will ultimately cause you fulfillment, to feel satisfied or happy. These are all vastly different things, and success should not be a metric of output or of what one can contribute to their own life or to the lives of others. Merely existing is enough. To tell another human that their output dictates their worth which in turn showcases their success is demeaning and makes us constantly chase more with the idea that perfection is able to be reached. We see this in the way corporations acquire other smaller ones who may’ve been competition - they fear others’ output outshining their own. This is not new, but it continues to be damaging. It attributes to a downward, tightening, spiral of “Do more, be more, obtain more, showcase more, exclude more.” This type of success often leads to exclusion, and it may not be intentional, but it is a consequence of the culture and the time. In contrast we’ve seen the rise of minimalism and the idea of success being showcased not in what one owns, but in the quality of the things and the sustainability of it.
I err toward the latter of those two aforementioned ideals, but choose to fall someplace in the middle. My idea of success isn’t dependent on output for an external gain (money, or things, etc.) but of an internal motivation. I want to create things for the betterment and awareness of those around me - for those who haven’t had the ability to learn or experience what I have or may not have access to similar materials. I love making things. I love doing things. And I love being able to say when I DON’T know something. It is in the unknown that we can truly be curious and therefore continue to grow and be successful in learning and being there for & with others. I think the truest ideas of success stem from us being able to admit just how much out there is unknown. Especially in the complex and nuanced world we live in - everything contains multitudes, including ourselves and the people around us. We don’t know what will bring “success” or fulfillment. There are so many different options and none of them are similar except in that they help to support the mental, physical, and emotional well-being of a person.
This is why I admire aspects of Eastern culture and how it is not just gain for the individual but for a family that brings about success. It’s not about material gains or power necessarily, but of supporting one another within that unit. Again, not everyone has a family that allows for this to occur (due to resources, mental illness, abuse, unaccepting/affirming parents, etc.) or is born into a family that has the language or boundaries to safely and securely support one another. What I choose to learn and understand from thought philosophies like this is the idea of success not existing externally in things but in what can collectively be accomplished. Whether we want to admit it or not, life is a series of collaborations, of the pursuit of understanding, of empathy, of connecting. This cannot be done without the involvement of each other.
When we choose to acknowledge and support the whole, we become better as people and more understanding of what it is to be human. We pursue the margins beyond comfort, and begin to embrace “I don’t know” as our metric of success. We allow curiosity to enter the chat and to begin to grow beyond what we ever could have dreamed.
So, what IS success?
It’s growth. It’s encouraging others around you. It’s enjoying life because of and in spite of the challenges it brings. It’s creating. It’s baking and eating cookies fresh from the oven. It’s laughter with friends. It’s your pet greeting you when you come home. It’s a drive to get coffee with your parent(s). It’s being kind. It’s growing in your idea of empathy. It is an internal metric that is incredibly hard to quantify but starts with saying three simple words, and embracing what comes after…
I.
Don’t.
Know.
…so what’s next?
How will WE grow together and find success together?
Let me know. And let me know what success is to YOU.
